Why I hate the word Why

Let me make this clear. I will find the person that invented the word why and lock them in a room with my children to make them understand why this is a bad word!!!

When kids are little their questions often involve the word why. "Why is the grass green?"-- "Why is the sky blue?"-- "Why do squirrels eat nuts?" The curiosity of children is unmatched and still somewhat adorable, yet somehow they manage to twist that word as they get older so much so that it gets to the point where you can hear it being whined in your head-- it goes kind of like the this: "Why can't I ride my bike across town to my friends house whose parents you have never met?!" or "Why can't I climb to the top of the 6 foot fence and jump?!" ---"WHHHHYYYY" Okay well they don't quite ask questions like that it is just what you hear in your head when they start whining the word in which I am no longer mentioning by name.

Its not that I don't understand that children need to know the reasoning behind some things its just that I can't understand having to argue about every little thing that I say no to. I mean every time I say no (which is often enough) its meet with this disbelief as if I am the worst mom in the world and then it is followed up by the whinny voice and the word which we shall not mention.

I know that it is a pipe dream but just for once can I have the answer no just accepted? I just want to know WHY, WHY, WHY I have to be questionnnnneeeeddddddddd!

Morning Madness

Morning are my least favorite part of every day... Mainly because they insist on coming so early, but another new reason has made it a constant challenge to be excited about its appearance. That reason is school. I guess that statement seems odd since for several blissful hours I do not have to cater to my children's every whim and desire (or at least two out of three children anyway) or hear their constant arguing and whining about "how they never have anything to dooooo!" Anyway its not the sending them to school that gets me down its the getting them ready for it that drives me insane! Let me clarify I have two elementary aged BOYS! I could see having trouble if they were teenage girls but it should not be this hard to get them out the door.

My boys, however, seem to feel that they need at least a good hour to get dressed and out the door. Me not being a morning person disagrees. I mean they have short hair, they have no accessories or make up. What on earth could possibly take them sooo long to get dressed?

Boys seem to come with their own annoying unique set of morning routine. Like this morning I was asked not by just one but both of my boys if it is okay to wear polo shirts to school. Because apparently they need to confirmation that I do not under any circumstances care what they were wearing to school as long as it is;

A)Their own clothing item and

B)Clean

I like weather appropriate, but it is really less significant then the other two. Then they have to ask if they should wear jeans or shorts despite the fact that we discussed that the night before(but still a legitimate question).

After those pressing questions are answered I figured it should take at most 3-5 minutes to decide what to wear and another couple to get in those clothes. I would be wrong.

After picking out their jeans they have to lay them on the bed, get about half of their pajamas off and then decide that it is the best time to Wrestle... Because everyone knows that wrestling with only half your pajamas on is way more fun than wrestling with your pajamas on. This is the point where I have to come in and remind them that they are getting dressed for school not trying out for the WWE. In which they spend not less than 5 minutes deciding whose fault it is for "starting it". After they get dressed into their clothes, they seem to spend a little time wondering around aimlessly wondering what to do next, when I snap and yell gently remind them that they still need socks and to brush their teeth and hair.

This is were we start the next argument... The "who went first yesterday" one. As if going first is a punishment of sorts. Then they have to again be "gently" reminded that yes they have to brush their teeth longer than 2 seconds and no one quick brush was not enough and yes their teeth will rot if they don't brush them.... By this point I am pulling my hair out and begging God for mercy calmly and rationally explaining that time is running out and they still have to make their bed and put their pajamas in the dirty laundry. To which my kids whine ask why "they have to do this every daaayyyy!"

And finally the best part comes...the part where I have to send them out the door. Usually it is riddled with questions---like why they have to wear a coat and shoes. But by this point I am numb to their plan to drive me insane and am only focusing on the small light at the end tunnel which is sending them out the door!

I am a bad, bad blogger!

It seems that I have gotten or got (since its been a year) really bad about blog
ging. Its not that I don't have anything to say, really if you know me you know that it isn't true. Its just that I was really, really lazy busy. I swear! So way too much has happened to attempt to recap this last year so I will go with its been pretty much like all my other blog post... the kids do stuff-I react-they do more stuff-I go crazy and vaca in a mental insitution... You know same ole same ole.

Here is my actually post for today : )

My house has become a hub for neighborhood children. Its not because I am an awesome mom though. I wish it was, but it is not. It has become a gathering place because I am a paranoid mom. I refuse to send my children to a house in which I do not know the parents or if there are really parents home or if they are just going to some alcohol-sexed-crazed after school party.

Now you may be saying to yourself "but aren't they only in the second and third grade?" And I will say I watched Dateline when I was pregnant with Ethan and that was like 8 years ago so if the kids were only 12 then imagine the age that the are doing stuff now! Okay I am also paranoid at sending my kids to houses of people I don't know, yes I know paranoid, but sorry I read a lot of fiction and lets face it- if someone can come up with an idea and write about it then someone else came up with the idea and is doing it. Blame the FBI profiler series I read a while back...

Meanwhile I get to be the mean mom and say no a lot. Other parents aren't so picky and they just let their children come on down and tell them to come back a couple hours later (so they get a few hours of peace, it really is sort of smart). I don't like being mean... I know its sort of a requirement to being a mom, but I still don't like being the only paranoid concerned parent. Today I came up with a new brilliant fool proof plan. I will be that mom. You know the cool one...the house that every kid wants to be at because she always has a yummy treat. See then I wont have to say no because everyone will want to be here! Kids are like stray cats, feed them once and they keep coming back. Especially when you feed them homemade chocolate chip cookies. They love me...

Tomorrow I will have a new homemade treat that makes my house more awesome to hang out at and I will no longer have to explain to my children why their mom is paranoid concerned. So parents of kids whose names I do not know, if your children start looking fatter know that

you probably should have checked out the gingerbread house down the street before sending your children there... However be assured that I have no plans to fatten your children and eat them. I just don't like the word no.