I am a bad, bad blogger!

It seems that I have gotten or got (since its been a year) really bad about blog
ging. Its not that I don't have anything to say, really if you know me you know that it isn't true. Its just that I was really, really lazy busy. I swear! So way too much has happened to attempt to recap this last year so I will go with its been pretty much like all my other blog post... the kids do stuff-I react-they do more stuff-I go crazy and vaca in a mental insitution... You know same ole same ole.

Here is my actually post for today : )

My house has become a hub for neighborhood children. Its not because I am an awesome mom though. I wish it was, but it is not. It has become a gathering place because I am a paranoid mom. I refuse to send my children to a house in which I do not know the parents or if there are really parents home or if they are just going to some alcohol-sexed-crazed after school party.

Now you may be saying to yourself "but aren't they only in the second and third grade?" And I will say I watched Dateline when I was pregnant with Ethan and that was like 8 years ago so if the kids were only 12 then imagine the age that the are doing stuff now! Okay I am also paranoid at sending my kids to houses of people I don't know, yes I know paranoid, but sorry I read a lot of fiction and lets face it- if someone can come up with an idea and write about it then someone else came up with the idea and is doing it. Blame the FBI profiler series I read a while back...

Meanwhile I get to be the mean mom and say no a lot. Other parents aren't so picky and they just let their children come on down and tell them to come back a couple hours later (so they get a few hours of peace, it really is sort of smart). I don't like being mean... I know its sort of a requirement to being a mom, but I still don't like being the only paranoid concerned parent. Today I came up with a new brilliant fool proof plan. I will be that mom. You know the cool one...the house that every kid wants to be at because she always has a yummy treat. See then I wont have to say no because everyone will want to be here! Kids are like stray cats, feed them once and they keep coming back. Especially when you feed them homemade chocolate chip cookies. They love me...

Tomorrow I will have a new homemade treat that makes my house more awesome to hang out at and I will no longer have to explain to my children why their mom is paranoid concerned. So parents of kids whose names I do not know, if your children start looking fatter know that

you probably should have checked out the gingerbread house down the street before sending your children there... However be assured that I have no plans to fatten your children and eat them. I just don't like the word no.

The Great Escape

What a glorious spring day...a perfect day for running away apparently. Our gianormous dog Chewie decided to make a break for it. One minute he is rolling around on the ground in doggie heaven and the next moment I look up from doing laundry to see a yellow streak blow past my sliding glass door. He managed to wiggle free of his collar. This unleashed a slight excitement in me as no collar means no way that anyone can identify him as mine! My mind shouted "Run Chewie Run! Really run for you life because if I have to chase after you one more time...." This excitement was short lived as every child in the neighborhood came running after him and to get me. I was sooo close! It didn't really matter anyway he wont run far just enough to torment me.

So I told Ethan to sit with Lily while I chased after the dog and drowned him out back dragged him home. It was funny to watch all the wonderful well doers who tried to call him (as if I hadn't already tried) of course in hindsight maybe threatening him with the pound didn't help. I explained to all these nice people there was no way that he was going to get near them when he smelled the sweet taste of freedom and of course the chance to drive me insane. It took four of us but we did finally manage to catch him. With the added benefit that now perfect strangers know the beast dog is mine...no chance of him getting away now!

Then I get back to the house to find the back door open and Lily outside in her shoes with no brother, plus two new flies...GRRRR!! Ethan comes running out saying "Lily where are you?!" I cut him some slack since he is only six and I had just lost the dog (plus I was only like five feet away from her the whole time). But it goes to show you, you can't trust dogs or kids for that matter. But at least once can't talk and let everyone who to file the lawsuits against!